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Saturday, July 12, 2014

Notable Baseball Quotes

A couple of years ago, I posted a few quotes about baseball. Here are a few more. They were given to me by a friend, who ran across them in a newspaper column (I don't know which newspaper, unfortunately) compiled by Jon Winokur (although I've added a few of my own):


Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.
-- Jim Murray

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
-- Woody Allen

What is both surprising and delightful is that spectators are allowed, and even expected, to join in the vocal part of the game... There is no reason why the field should not try to put the batsman off his stroke at the critical moment by neatly timed disparagement's of his wife fidelity and his mother's respectability.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.
-- George Carlin

It's a round ball and a round bat, and you have to hit it square.
-- Pete Rose

Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that's just in the hot dogs.
-- David Letterman

I have discovered, in 20 years of moving around a ball park, that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats.
-- Bill Veeck

Why does everybody stand up and sing, "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" when they're already there?
-- Larry Anderson

Baseball is the favorite American sport because it's so slow. Any idiot can follow it. And just about any idiot can play it.
-- Gore Vidal (I bet Vidal couldn't play it a lick!)

Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.
-- Leo Durocher

Baseball is accused of being too slow. Here's something that would not only speed up the game but also provide a welcome opportunity for serious injuries. Like most good ideas, it's uncomplicated: If the pother hits the batter with the ball, the batter is out. That's it. A simple idea, but it would make quite a difference.
-- George Carlin

I'm one of those people who's not really turned on by baseball. My idea of a relief pitcher is one that's filled with martinis.
-- Dean Martin

Good pitching will beat good hitting any time, and vice versa.
-- Bob Veale (how true)

The pitcher has to find out if the hitter is timid. And if the hitter is timid, he has to remind the hitter he's timid.
-- Don Drysdale (known for throwing at a batter or two during his career)

The season starts too early and finishes to late and there are too many games in between.
-- Bill Veeck

The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.
-- Casey Stengel

For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown in innings.
-- Earl Wilson

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
-- Dave Barry

If it wasn't for baseball, I'd be in either the penitentiary or the cemetery.
-- Babe Ruth

I learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able throw something back.
-- Maya Angelou

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for having too many players on the field?
-- Jim Bouton

Baseball is what we were; football is what we've become.
-- Mary McGrory

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